My husband has 2 teenage boys from previous marriage. Older one is off to college next year and younger one is freshman in high school. My husband and I got married 7 years ago. He used to have a full custody of the boys before we were married because his ex had a drug problem and abandoned her kids. She changed her mind and decided that she wants her kids back in her life as soon as we got married. So she was given 50% custody under agreement. My husband and I were actually happy about it at first because it would give us more time to ourselves. Older boy gets along with his mother very well and he actually likes to spend more time at his mom's house as he has a lot more freedom. But younger one has never been attached to his mother and had very hard time dealing with her since he was very little. He could not spent one day without fighting with her. It's hard for me to believe but my husband claims that she actually doesn't love him and only reason she wanted him back was for the money. I try not to get involved with her personally because I've always heard how manipulative and classless she is and she has spread mean rumors about me and I have never even talked to her before. I honestly don't know how badly she treated her son but all i know is she's really embarrassing because she can't even get a respect from her own child. One day, younger boy had a hugh fight with her at her house and asked to be picked up. According to him, she kicked him out of the house because he was yelling at her. He begged to his dad that he won't have to go back to her place ever again. That was 3 years ago and since then, he's been living with us full time. I admit i was not happy about having a kid full time at first but felt sorry for him. I could never replace his mother's place, so I wanted him to eventually reconcile with his mother but he seems to hate her even more as time goes by because my husband fully supports and caters to him on everything. Ex still continues receiving child support for both boys. My husband took her to the court but she claims that she is willing to reconcile with him anytime and judge ordered them to attend weekly therapy sessions. It has been almost a year with absolute no progress and it's such a waste of time. She's been hiding her assets away so she could prove she makes very little money- by purchasing properties under her BF's name and we also heard rumor that she's actually secretly married to her BF, etc. We know she makes decent money but she's being so sneaky of it. She doesn't spend ANY money on her (both) kids- to these days, she asks my husband $ for their socks and underwear! I have never heard anyone so cheap with her own kid! She said she cannot help to fund her son's college, not even for application fees, so if he decides to go, it's totally up to my husband as she doesn't care if he goes to college. As a professional in his field, my husband might seem to make a decent money but we are going through financial crisis just like any other regular american family and it's been difficult for years because business is so slow. Plus we have to pay for kid's college tuition next year. She has been sucking up money from us like a vampire and spending that money for her partying life style- but not even a penny for her kids. The kid obviously doesn't want anything to do with her and he's so solid on that. I know under California law, it's not uncommon that many women could take advantage of their ex husbands but is it even possible for someone to win the child support$ when the kid has not been physically living with her over last 3 years? Court has not come up with anything, just delaying the case and endless requirements from our side... How can we convince that she doesn't deserve any of it?
I apologize for the long detail... i am really frustrated and had to share it with someone hopefully someone can relate.
Thank you so much in advance!
Please do not comment unless you read the detail
Answer by Mushu
I didn't read the whole thing, a lot of it seemed like TMI - but the gist of it is this:
If your husband's ex has a court order for 50% custody, and the kid doesn't want to be around her, then your husband needs to take this back to court and request that the order be changed.
Edit: Please do not comment unless you read the detail? Are you serious? There's a whole book's worth of unnecessary 'details' in that post. You want someone to vent to, tell it to your diary. This is a public forum and people can respond however they choose.
Answer by allison
She should only be receiving money from him until the children are 18. If the judge won't do anything about her sucking your husband dry now, don't worry once the oldest turns 18 he will not receive any child support and then when the second child turns 18 she won't receive a dime. Boohoo for her. Good luck!
Answer by Mama Mia
Ask the court to appoint a financial guardian for the boys so that she must have the expenses approved and released solely for the boys expenses. That should put an end to her spending that money inappropriately. You could ask that the money be held and paid out by an administrator who would be charged with keeping an account of where any money was sent and writing the checks. It might also be agreeable to the younger boy to terminate his mothers visitation rights thus changing the need for her to maintain a home for him to come to. I would see what a family court lawyer could do for you
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Orignal From: Can a woman receive child support $ when the child refuses to live with the mother?
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