My husband and I have separated a year ago after seven years of marriage and I moved into rented accommodation. Around June this year he has sold the flat we lived in. The flat belonged to him at the time we met and my name was never put on the deed due to the cost it would have drawn. I have not paid into the mortgage but have been paying for food and when asked for bills as well. The flat was sold for around £150k and my husband is willing to give me £30k which at first I accepted. However, I still haven't received the money as he wants the divorce finalized before he pays me. So that we don't have to wait two years before we can get divorced he petitioned that reason of divorce is down to my argumentative behaviour and that it was impossible to live with me. I don't want to sign this just so that I can get the money quicker but I really need the money as I now have an opportunity to get on the property ladder. I'm now also not sure weather I should settle with that money or should I try to get more. He is represented by a solicitor but I cannot afford one although now that I have received the petition from the Court I realize that I must engage one.
I'm absolutely alone and not sure what I should do. Should I accept the offered money or should I try get more out of him. He also half owns a house in which his mother lives. The reason I was willing to accept less money first is because I didn't feel I deserved more but as it is taking long and because he doesn't trust me to give me the money now I'm getting dispeared and angry. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Thank you
Answer by Naomi
I'm not a lawyer and you should find someone who knows you who you can ask advice from.
But, having said that, I would tell you to just accept it and go.
The longer these divorce proceedings are drawn out, the more pain you will have from it. that is always the rule with these things. I would tell you to take what you can/what he is offering you now and try and move on and restart your life.
Aside from the fact that if you engage a lawyer, it will cost you a lot of money and you don't have any guarantees that you will end up getting more money out of him.
As a therapist, I often see women come in after being through a divorce that took years and years of court cases and they are just so battered by it. The best thing to do is take what you can and try and forgive him for whatever has happened (as hard as that is) and just try and move on and build a new life for yourself.
The longer it takes, the more its going to hurt you.
Answer by 1234
take more? re u insane? u should kiss the ground he walks on for giving u at least 30 thousands cos otherwise u should get nothing - u didn't contribute to anything and nobody cares who pays for food. so even if u had an attorney u wouldn't get anything. and u do not have any attorney. so u better be nice to him untill somebody talks some sense into him (i suppose his new woman when he gets one can do that) and he wouldn't give u anything at all.
Answer by Charles
Honey, it's all BS. You are entitled to half of everything, period. Get a lawyer, and stop letting this creep screw you over. You can get legal aid, talk to the CAB. Not entitled to more? You gave him 7 years of your life for pete's sake!
Answer by Sanjay
WELL I THINK U SHOULD ACCEPT THE MONEY WHATEVER IS OFFERED TO U AND START UR LIFE FROM A SCRATCH AND U WILL DEFINITELY SUCCED IN IT AM SURE RATHER THAN SPOILING TIME MONEY AND PATIENCE IN COURTS AND DEFINITELY U WILL MAKE UR LIFE BETTER THIS WAY
Answer by kimh
You husband know that you need money, that is why he is trying to settle. He actually knows that you can get half of everything. You should contact legal aid, go see one of their divorce attorneys. The attorney will make sure you get alot more and you have plenty to pay his fees. Make sure you find out up front what it will cost to retain him as your lawyer (retainer fee $ 400.00) plus filling fees. Go for half, you will not be sorry.
Answer by Jen
This is simple, first he has made an agreement but it is probably just between you and him. Make it formal. Go see an attorney and tell your ex-you need X-amount for the paper work to be completed to ensure your protection. You will agree to a divorce on his term provided that the agreed amount of money is in the agreement, and he can pay the attorney fees. If he acts other than agreeable meet with him and get into a discussion concerning the money he offered. Just make sure it is recorded. This will give you legal grounds in a court proceeding.
Now, an option would be to get him to go with you to an attorney of your choice. You are going to agree to his terms for a divorce but you want the money to be part of the divorce so it will be legal and you will get you money at the same time he gets a divorce.
Answer by Billie
Honey you must get yourself a solicitor or lawyer, you are entitled by marriage no matter he took out the mortgage on the flat before you married - once married its half and half right down the line. Your also entitled to a payment of his pension when he retires and other such things like that, so please please don't worry about the cost, a solicitor or lawyer will not worry for they know they will get their share when the divorce becomes final. Just don't let this man dump on you this way. You put seven years of your life into that relationship and being married the courts will see that you get your just fair, do not accept what he offers, he knows you will get more if you fight back, and is only trying to fend you off with the offer of £30K. Now £30K is a lot of money, but look at it this way, it will not buy you your own home or even flat, so why let him leave you with that sort of insecurity, you deserve half at the least. Sometimes the wives actually get more, for it depends on your earning potential and circumstances, and often its the men that are able to start over more easily than women financially - courts bare that in mind, so please you bare that in mind too. Its not a case of revenge its a case of justice - you are not being greedy, you too have the rest of your life to survive in a financial way that should be equal to his financial chances.
Good Luck Honey - bite back.
Answer by merlin
You pore dear, we always seam to end up alone. but if you want to get on with your life you must move on from the old life. so if U want to move on take the money.
Answer by jucifruit22
you really need a laywer hes holding all the cards and is making you take the smaller amount and not following through on it. i wouldn't trust his word get it all in writing you can arrange to pay the lawyer after the settlement.
Answer by Chuck Chalupa
I need to address the issue here were people are telling you half and half. I do not know where you live, but i live in a community property state. IE 50/50 state. Having said that, you will need to look into something called premarital assets. Assets that belonged to either party prior to marriage, in most instances are not considered marital property, at least where I live. Good luck :-)
Add your own answer in the comments!
Orignal From: What should I do? I'm going through a divorce.?
Post a Comment