rate and review my history essay please?

Posted by 70sfamily | 10:42:00 PM


im in year 10 andd i have to hand myy essay in which i wrote , please could you rate it , whats good and bad about it? and how i can improve it ,,, thanks :)


For what reasons did women's movement
Fail to win the vote 1914?

The purpose of this essay is to briefly explain the main reasons of why women failed to win the vote by 1914 and what caused them. the reasoning why women did not get the vote is both complex and multi-causal, A few of the main reasons that prevented from women getting the vote were that the traditional attitudes towards women were very stereotypical, for example women were portrayed as too emotional and had to stay at home as a housewife's, while men were seen to be breadwinners of the family and would have all kinds of careers. This could be one of the ridiculed ideologies that due to the fact that women are biologically weaker then men and so they can not handle any pressures that men could. Women could not do many careers, being politicians etc. Women wanted the vote because of many reasons, but the following are the main ones. Women believed that all the wisest people who made political decisions had realised that the vote with both men and women was more valuable then the vote only by men. But the main reason why women wanted the vote was because they believed that they were socially inferior to men and was treated with inequality. For example both men and women had to obey the same laws, so why were men superior to women when it came to politics? The other main reason why women struggled to get the vote was because of the split between the NUWSS and the WSPU. Both of these organisations catered for women's rights to try to win the vote but after the split between them there was a lot of struggle in using different tactics and strategies in the pursuit to win the vote for example, Millicent Fawcett rejected the suffragette's tactics because the NUWSS believed in trying to win the vote by peaceful means. This meant that it took twice the power and pressure of each group to try to win the vote. Also at the time there were many other political issues going on like the home rule for Ireland which apparently caused many problems for England so due to this women's suffrage was seen as meaningless. Another major reason why women's movements failed to win the vote was because of Asquith and the Liberals stereotypical views about women that seemed unchangeable at the time. For example Asquith sung to the tune of a well known nursery rhyme.' Sing a song for christabels clever little plan, four and twenty suffragettes packed in a van...wasn't that a dainty dish for Campbell Bannerman''. This shows us that Herbert Asquith was in opposition towards women's suffrage and wanted to do anything that prevented women from getting the vote.
One of the first and main reasons why women struggled to get the vote was because of the traditional attitudes and views towards women were really different and very stereotypical and strong, for example Queen Victoria said in the following quotation ''with the vote women would become the most hateful, heartless and disgusting human beings,, where would the protection be which man has intended to give to the weaker sex''. In this quotation queen Victoria meant that if women got the vote they would not have the capacity to handle political problems, as women are biologically the weaker sex, they would rely on man to solve important political issues thus women would be disgusting, heartless and monstrous humans if they had the vote. Women were treated unjustly in comparison to men, for example women had no rights of their own if they were married. Women only had a few opportunities in higher education, for example only a few middle class women from the vast majority of women in Britain studied at university and got careers such as doctors , solicitors etc. The majority of men and the vast minority of women had the ideology that if women entered the field of politics they would cause havoc and chaos as they were too emotional and they did not have the capacity to resolve political stress. Because of this there were anti suffrage groups set up for example. The Anti Suffrage league was an organisation opposing women's suffrage, which was established in the year 1908 by an author called Mary Ward. The organisations main method of opposing Women's suffrage was collecting signatures by for against getting the vote. This may have also been a minor cause for women's struggle to win the vote. But the whole theme of opposing women's suffrage links in with the traditional attitudes towards women for example if women had more of a positive outlook by society it may have been easier for the movements to achieve the vote. This was one of the main reasons why women's movement struggled to win the vote before 1914.
Another main reason why women's movements struggled to win the vote was because of the splits b

Answer by kitkat823
that sounds good from 1-10 id say 7.5 or 8

Answer by Patty
my teachers hate it when you talk about what the essay will be about in the beginning

Answer by Flowdrop
Never, ever say what you are going to write about in an essay, you will actually lose marks if you do because you're not talking about the topic and are also wasting time by doing so. Explain the quotations in more detail and try to be more analytical.

Answer by jane32147
The content is good in your essay but you score low in punctuation and spelling. The paragraphs are to long to keep interest. Think about making them smaller. A good essay has the thesis (what your essay is about) in the first essay, 3 key points you want to make (make 1 point in each paragraph) and a closing which should say something like so in conclusion, or as we review the three or something along those lines. Make sure that final paragraph reviews those three points in your essay. This would get you a very good grade. Good Luck

Answer by frickholm
I would give it an 8. I agree with what the other person said; you shouldn't write "The purpose of this essay is to briefly explain..." Instead you could say "Women failed to win the vote in 1914 due to a few causes" and etc. Otherwise, the essay does well with providing information, but there are a few awkward sentences, mostly from grammar errors, so I suggest that you go back and proofread it. For example, "Women could not do many careers, being politicians etc." A suggestion would be "Women had little options in their careers, such as being excluded from being politicians, etc."

Answer by snlfan
Of a scale of 10 , i would give it a 7-7.5, need some punctuation/ capitalization and you need to get rid of your first paragraph.

This is just one long paragraph, if you were to indent some of your essay, it would be easier to read and grade.



What do you think? Answer below!

Orignal From: rate and review my history essay please?

0 comments