Two weeks ago my then boyfriend of 5 years dumped me. Of course it has been hell but I need people's opinion about what happened. Not to ease any guilt but others perspectives. Over the course of 6 months (June to October) my then boyfriend had become friendly with a married couple. The woman is 29 and her husband is 31. I started seeing things that made me become somewhat suspicious that the friendship with the woman was becoming more of an emotional affair. I tried the good ole' get along with her because they are friends thing but she is an immature, drama mama. Some of the things that transpired are him playfully flirting with her, but yet when I tried to show him affection in front of her he would get irritated with me and physically pull away, she would talk with him about how crappy her marriage was, he would constantly be down at their house, he went out to the bars with them, although when I would ask him to go with me and my friends the answer was no I don't drink and the smoke bothers me, he attended her daughters dance program but did not attend my childrens concerts,he would get angry with me when I would come by to visit him unannounced but she could walk over any time she wanted and visit, I would be purposely discluded from a lot of activities when she and her husband were present. Oh and I forgot the hum dinger. He called me a fifth wheel and said that he doesn't like my kids, no one likes my kids and this woman has said she doesn't like my kids, she would page him constantly and he finally put his pager to vibrate so I wouldn't know and there would be frequent hang-up calls. Not the kind that were a solicitor. When I dial *69 to see who it was he became enraged with what I did. Anyway,I have a male friend that I have not contacted in two years. I did date him at one time but he is 500 miles away, has a girlfriend who knows about me and I have no other contact with him other then every 2 years I call just to catch up. I had contacted him before and he told me that I was to never contact him again. Obviously I failed. Our relationship has been nothing but ultimatums from him. In fact one of the ultimatums was regarding this woman and hurting her feelings. Basically my ex found out and told me that he can't trust me, blah, blah, blah. What is people's opinion of this whole scenario. I plan on keeping him my ex boyfriend because he has a lot of double standards, was really treating me crappy but I'm either dumb, stupid, blind or all three because I can't see the harm it what I did.
I just would like to add that when I spoke with this other man we never discussed our past history, trying to get together or confessed undying love. I have never made any effort to go and see him or makde arrangements for him to come to see me. I couldn't do that to his girlfriend.
Any thoughts.
Answer by perfectvelvet
Sounds like your relationship had been dying for a while, and he found someone he would rather be with (her). Good for him: a jerk like him deserves an unfaithful tramp like her.
Be the bigger person. Karma will get him in the end. You were a victim, and it's time to rise above that and move on. You're not free from the abusive relationship you were in. Congratulations.
Answer by just me
Honestly, it sounds like you are better off without your ex boyfriend. You are right he is full of double standards. You can't live like that. You deserve someone who will not have different expectations of you than of themselves. Find someone new that will love you as much you love them. Take it as a lesson learned and try to move on. Good luck!
Answer by marcellemoukarzel
u need a break from men. think about urself and ur kids. just enjoy simple activities with ur children and take care of YOURSELF.
Answer by njunprincess
Yeah, your relationship with your ex was over well before he met up with the new couple. Probably just grew old and tired of the same routine, and lost respect. It is something that you should have seen coming and were blind to, but evidently you were committed to the relationship and he was not. He used, as a convenience, the contact you made with the old male friend. He also used the "hurt her with words" by spewing out about your kids. It is a giiven that you have much better morals and values than what he does, and it's for the better that your relationship failed now, rather than after marriage.
Just go and find new happiness in life, and put this past relationship in the dumpster.
Add your own answer in the comments!
Orignal From: Personal opinions needed from men and women ?
Post a Comment