My mate has two small children to a girl I do not know.
They separated a while back and she moved south of England leaving the father to treck back and forward to see the children whenever she decides is suitable. He paid £250 a month into her account as at that time was all he could afford. She believed she could get alot more so contacted child support. After child support contacted my mate and totalled up what he actually earned they told him he was paying more than what is income would allow and they ordered him to pay alot less per month. So, she shot herself right in the foot with that one!
She has now decided she no longer wants the children to see their father and has contacted child support again as he has a different job and now earns more which changes the circumstances again - which is fair enough I believe if he can afford it.
She wont allow the kids to speak to him and when she does she tells the children what to say. The last conversation he had with his son was 'we dont want to see you anymore daddy' which I think is down right disgusting of a mother to put words like that into her childrens mouths.
She does not work, earns all her money from the government and is entitled to legal aid so she has contacted a solicitor. My mate now has to go through her solicitor if he wants to even ask her anything!
My mate can not afford a solicitor and is not entitled to legal aid. Me and my partner have ended up in arguments about it because I feel our mate isnt doing enough but my partner says fathers never win stuff like this. There surely has to be something our mate can do to see his kids? Apparently fathers rights do not exsist and he would be fighting a losing battle knowing his ex would come off a winner. How does he know if he doesnt try?
It bugs the hell out of me to see that he is just going to sit back and do nothing. Has any other father been in this situation with their ex?
I'd like to see my mate get somewhere with this. He's a good father and wants to be part of their lives but his b*tch ex is using the kids against him. HOW CAN SHE DO THIS AND GET AWAY WITH IT??
Answer by kimmiandbump
you said it, shes a bitch.
but your mate must of seen something in her once to have children with her.
they wont be kids forever thats when the truth will come out, the children will see her for the bitch that she is and hopefully start to build up a realtionship with their dad, but unfortunatly thats a lot of years they will both miss out on.
some people arent fit to take care of dogs nevermind children
Answer by sawdust
Been there myself. I have 2 sons whom I can not see because of the same reasons as your mate. If he presses the issue too much he will only upset the kids. She is using them as pawns against him. He knows best what he can and can't do. There is no point in you arguing with your partner over this. And yes, fathers' rights don't exist.
In Australia we have fathers' support groups. Can your mate join one over there perhaps?
Answer by Gramma
You are right, that's nasty. He needs to hire a solicitor if he wants to see his kids. This will come around and bite his ex in the butt once those kids are older & form their own opinion. Even if he loses, he needs legal documentation of his trying for the kids when they are older and should question why he didn't try to see them. As long as he's not a horrible person, the courts will order in his favor for visitation rights.
Answer by ♥STREAKER♥©℗†
tell him to keep looking for someone who might help him for free. That isn't right. As much as I can't stand my kids father and no matter how much he owes me (it's a lot), if he calls, he can talk to his kids and they can say whatever they want. I do not even stay in the room while they talk to him. He doesn't come in and see excpet once in a blue moon. The kids all know it's his choice and I'm an not stopping him from seeing them. He was like this with his other two kids from a previous marriage and he knows that I won't stop him if he wanted to see his kids. No matter how horrible things are between us, he has a right to see them and I will let him see them or talk to them whenever he calls.
He needs to keep looking for help. Maybe try a local law school and see if they have a program where students can help him for free since they are working on passing their exams. This gives them a chance to actually do real work before haing to take the bar exam.
Answer by BobbiBlu
This is called parent alienation syndrome. Look it up online and read about it. www.glennsacks.com is a huge proponent for fathers rights. He is in the US in California, however I believe that there are resources for the UK. This is a world wide problem. However there is help out there.
Answer by bernieszu
Free legal advice for UK citizens here:
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
And for English and Welsh residents here:
http://www.clsdirect.org.uk
Both sites have lots of useful advice on problems with child visitation rights, contact etc.
Hope this helps,
Good Luck
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